Tuesday, March 30, 2010

It's All Too Confusing!

I don't know what I'm doing. I'm bored, so I write. Where do I begin? Well, for starters, I'm thirteen and I'm confused about everything. Religion, sex, family, friends, money, my place in the world, etc. So let's just say I'm confused about life.

But really, out of all of that, my biggest problem is religion. My family is very... well I don'tknow if there's a word for it. But they don't like discrimination, unfairness, or racism in anyway. My granny started a battered women's shelter and my mom used to help people in abusive relationships/familes escape. So, I don't come from the normalest family. My mom is popped right out of the 70's. It's not that I'm notproud of them, because I extremely am, but sometimes I wish that I was raised by a normal family that went to church every Sunday. I wish religion had been a part of my life. (Yes, I'm finally coming back to religion.)

It's just that, for one, I live in Mississippi. If you've ever been there you know that it's full of rednecks and church-goers - and I don't fit in either catagory. Most of my friends are very strong Christians and go to church every Sunday, and for awhile, I did too. I started to read the Bible and I pressured my friends not sin, but even though I did that, I always knew in the back of my heart that this wasn't who I was.

Now I tell my friends I have other plans when they invite me to church and, when I do go, I'm waiting for it to end. As much as I hate to admit it, I think I don't believe in God. Infact, I think I'm leaning more towards reincarnation, or maybe no religion at all. I don't know. But does anyone out there feel as confused as me? Is anyone else in a simillar situation? Please tell me I'm not alone!